Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change. ~ Wayne Dyer
This morning, I was whining to my husband about the odd things that occur during the night that keep me from getting a restful sleep (of which there are many). After discussing the many causes, and possibilities of causes – both physical and mental, and determining that some people are more predisposed than others to various physiological issues, he said, “maybe it’s just your luck – it’s not good or bad, but it is yours.”
That hit me square between the eyeballs.
I have been fighting acceptance, lately. Accepting the current world order. Accepting that no one wants to hire someone over 50 (regardless of the fact that Uncle Sam seems to think I have a good 18 years work left in me – but don’t get me started on that one). Accepting that I need to work, when through all of our relationship I really have not, and how that is going to upset our apple cart. Accepting my excess skin. Accepting my new wrinkles and gray hairs.
But now here is this idea that my luck is My Luck. It is not bad. Others certainly have it worse… It is not good. Others certainly have it better. But it is mine. Not yours, not his, not hers. Mine. My reality. And because it is mine, no one else has the right to judge how I respond (or not) to it, any more than I have the right to judge theirs. I can only work through my reality the best way I can. I can try to understand theirs, but I can really only just try.
Strangely, now, this I can accept.
I will be honest and tell you that lately, I have been responding poorly to various stimuli. And it has felt like trying to move through quicksand, sinking deeper and deeper, flailing with no progress (and yes, a good deal of regression).
So now, I think I will just say, “Well, this is just my luck,” and move on. Not the dripping-with-sarcasm statement we usually make with these words, but just the acknowledgement that this is the current Point A. And if I don’t like Point A, then I can just move on to Point B. No struggle, no fuss, just pick a path and go.
This will be difficult for me, as I suffer from paralysis by analysis more often than not. But that’s me.
Just My Luck. 😉